Resolute

Mesdames et Messieurs. It is now that time of year in which we practice the inane but necessary practice of determining how to better ourselves through resolutions we probably will not keep.

However, I have compiled a list to honour this arcane tradition. Shall we begin?

1. I'll start with losing a few kilos, I think. That honours a world-over tradition, doesn't it? (This is after I finish all the chocolate and snacks in my drawer. A clean start, you understand).

2. Exercise more. But by more, I mean when I can..and by when I can, I mean probably never. But I'll make the effort, and that's all that counts.

3. Do one thing a day that makes me happy, or makes someone else happy. I think I'll share the chocolate in my drawer. It's a win win situation. I lose weight, you get chocolate.

4. Be nicer to my lover. He deserves to be let out of the cage on more than just Sundays. Perhaps I'll feed him food other than Nandos! No, wait...that's being exceedingly generous. I'll feed him. That'll do, pig, that'll do.

5. Stick to the damn resolutions.

Et vous? Have you vowed to be resolute?