Believe

I used to believe armadillos were indestructible. Much like a heart turned to stone, they curled up so tight that nothing could penetrate their depths.

Now I know this is not so.

I used to wish, when I curled up at night, that I would be indestructible, as long as I curled up tight. That anything around me, be it the world exploding, or the house falling down, would not hurt, and I would not feel.

Now I know this is not so.

So when the world is really falling down around me, I am not immune. I am not invincible. Every thing that hits me will hurt, and thats the way it is meant to be. I am no safer than an armadillo kicked hard, for all we protected were our vulnerable sides, and the shell we built would still sting with every blow.

So now, I succumb to feeling...to emotion...to pain.

Someone once told me that what one feels can never compare to the pain others might feel in the same situation. I held my tongue for fear that the pain would spread to those around me. To those who don't understand no matter how well or how long they've known me.

So I held my tongue, and let the world fall down around me. Because I know the pain I feel cannot compare, for pain cannot be compared, and to each is his/her own. There is no comparison, and there will never be. Pain is pain, pure and simple, and all that compares is how well we deal with it.

To deal with it...take a pinch of salt with every piece of advice, hold one's tongue and keep one's dignity, rage and pain in check. Do not lash out at those who mean no harm, and know that they cannot understand. Do not lash out at those who don't understand. Nobody understands but yourself, and the best one can do is listen.

What makes us think, as humans, that we are wise?

I cannot stop this rage inside me now. It tears my heart to pieces, and yet all I can do is bite my tongue, or scream into my pillow.

Who knows. Maybe one day there will be peace.

Maybe.